Forgiving the 'unhealed healer'

Hi David,

I want to ask you what do I do when I experience
the ego in my mind. The substance of the ego is
being seen in my mind as an energy of hatred and fear,
attack, pain vengance rage and condemnation. Its so
black and dark. I am afraid of it but im trying to
look at it with the spirit not keep turning away pushing
it into unawareness. Is this the first step? Just keep
looking at it being honest about what it is? At the
moment I am in the experience of the ego being unveiled
to me and its scarey and painful to see.. Can you give
me some help with what to do at this point?

Another issue is coming up for me now around being
at the Endevour Academy for 5 yrs in Byron Bay from
'97 to 2002 under the teaching style of Charles Anderson
or "Dear One" as he was known. The atmospher was very
confrontational, I'm sure you have heard stuff about it.
And I am not writing this to gossip or blame about the
place, i'm just wanting healing for what I think I experienced.
The teachers were confronting alot and humiliating exposing
people in the purpose to expose the ego. It was an environment
of pointing out ego in each other in a very confrontational
aggressive way. There were many cult like attitudes like
always staying in the group and people who left were looked
on badly and were excomunicated. Although I also experienced
alot of Love and Spirit there I was also in constant fear of
being attacked or confronted about the ego so there was
not an environment where it felt safe to expose ego because
you would get blasted for it, confronted, and belittled for it.
Therefore my ego thinking was held in even more and covered over
with Yes I am as God created me even though I felt anything but
that! Things were said alot about us being the denial of God
and being talked to like being told off and repremanded for it.
So I went into alot of guilt and fear about that and feel I didn't
get the true message of the Course untill I stated listening to
your teachings about 3 yrs ago. I have heard you say never confront
anyone. Unless he asks for your help specificlly Then you can
gently point out stuff. Well this is the opposite of what we went
through at the Endevour academey! I still feel effected by this as
this was my first teaching of the course but I have healed a little
from listening to you. It still lingers in my mind a bit. Can you
help me a all with this particular situation.

Love & Thanks

____________________________________________________________________

Beloved One,

Thanks for sharing what is on your heart and for your
willingness to forgive. As you begin to allow the ego to surface
in awareness the process can seem and be interpreted by the ego
as "scarey and painful." As I have traveled the world people have
opened up to me and shared their experiences of what Jesus calls
'the unhealed healer.' These experiences clearly do not reflect
the soft and gentle healingof deep Peace and Clarity of Awakening.
The Holy Spirit never commands or demands, and confrontation and
pointing out errors in others are basic ego tactics that can only
be appropriately viewed with the Holy Spirit as Calls for Love.
Gentleness is a characteristic of an advanced teacher of God,
and those who confront and agressively attempt to label or put
down a brother or sister in the Name of Christ know not what they
do. Humility and meekness far transcend the arrogance and conflict
the ego attempts to reinforce.

The 'unhealed healer' construct extends to those who would attempt
to extend Wisdom under the Name of Jesus Christ and yet attempt
to control people or shame people or exclude people who do not
agree to follow an 'external authority' or 'leader.' The
obviousness of egoic attempts at power and control only points
to the necessity of exposing the ego entirely and looking past
the error to the Atonement with the Holy Spirit. Whenever I
visited brothers and sisters and was asked about confrontations
in the Name of Christ, I always reminded the questioner about
the teaching: "A good teacher never terrorizes his students."

If anyone seems to perceive a teacher who claims to know
something about God or Christ or forgiveness and yet persists
in confrontation and judgments and opinions and grandeosity,
the best advice is to step back in Quietness and align within
to the Gentle Answer of Innocence, which is our natural
Inheritance from God.

The Answer to memories of any seeming attack or abuse is to
allow the thoughts into awareness so that they may be given
over immediately to Jesus and the Holy Spirit. As the core ego
belief is exposed completely it will dawn in awareness that
attack of any kind is impossible. This recognition is the
recognition of the Atonement.

Forever and ever in Gentleness and Innocence,

David